My Theory on road craft in Europe:

I have been a paramedic for 35 years which as a driver of many different emergency vehicles,  responding in all sorts of conditions and countless situations often at a vast speed differential to the traffic around me, gives me SOME qualification to make a judgement on the driving standards and road conditions in other countries I encounter on my travels.
So, these may seem a bit cliche' but here are some thoughts after my 3rd trip to Western Europe :

GERMANY, I always find a bit un-nerving with its UNLIMITED inner lane,(why is there such a high proportion of Schwarz (Black) BMW's out there doing mach 1 (speed of sound) because it feels like that, you go out there into the 3rd lane for a well timed and fleeting overtake of a slower car, probably an elderly couple in a silver 10 year old Benz who are in the middle of the 3 lanes and are themselves attempting to round up a lumbering semi trailer (limited to a crippling 80 KPH). You are really bowling along compared to the Benz at say, 145 KPH... But almost as soon as you commit your wheels to the "inner sanctum" , your mirrors are full of BLACK BEE-EM-TROUBLE -YOU, urgently flashing it's headlights in frustration as you've interrupted his 200plus KPH run ! The Beemer is now almost entering your boot (trunk) , you spend only a couple of seconds getting by the old folks benz then hastily return to the centre lane and the Beemer flashes by then almost clinically cuts off your cars nose as it progresses past you into the SLOW truck lane, which coincidentally happens to always be chockers with trucks, it then flashes back though the centre and into the bahn stormer lane to continue its rapid progress. They all seem to do it, are they trained to go to the slowest lane after an over take then bounce back to the fast lane like a pinball machine ? Crazy ! and this  from one of the most clinicically organised and methodical people on the planet ! There must be crashes ,and they must be big when they happen...

my encounters with the German GEISTEFAHREN or GHOST DRIVER... (courtesy BMW museum)

But nothing puts the breeze up the Germans more than the dreaded Geisterfahren!
The GHOST DRIVER ! warnings automatically come over the cars' audio system and also on overhead gantrys electronically alerted to to this most horrible of fears, a driver tearing down the autobahn flat out going backwards against the traffic flow ! around any bend or over any rise, with a closing speed of 400kph, now that's scary !!
It happened to us twice, but no GEISTERFAHREN was spotted despite "all hands on deck and all occupants eyes straining into the road ahead ,whew !

But they have VERY cool self cleaning toilets at the roadside stops and I think the video is worth a view.

                    

Now onto Italy but that's another story, stay tuned: on DAVES DRIVE TIME , the Euro road trip !              

Travelling with Girls

Note: When travelling with 4 females the token male will be the protector and provider (as in the wild)  

Bearing the above in mind,you will NEVER have enough toilet paper, even in decent 4 star hotels, there will NEVER be enough toilet paper, or toilette papiere, or toiletten papier, in any language in any Euro country, when travelling with girls, there will NEVER be enough , 

So, you will have to be inventive to be able to satisfy demand for your clan...

See Above Pics for this morning's efforts in Tivoli, Italy: 

1) check the dunny area, (toilette regione)

2) notice that the situation re paper is dire (it usually is...)

3) go down 3 floors to reception to find it unattended, 

4) go into the adjacent restaurant toilets (either male or female will do as facility is closed at 0700hrs)

 to find large commercial quantity of paper in wall dispensers.

5) unroll from wall dispenser approx 40 metres while simultaneously winding it between hand and elbow, 

6) hide the rolled up hank under shirt and repair self to upstairs room.

7) locate the empty cardboard roll in bin

8) carefully and (somewhat skillfuly) re-roll the acquired paper onto the used one.

9) replace onto wall bracket ready for use by awakening multiple females.

10) VOILA ! you are now a GOOD man and provider but this seemingly small and insignificant task will go some way to making your day travelling with said females a better one as it serves to improve their waking mood and set the tone for the day .

One problem, they have now gone to breakfast in the hotel and I have some peace to finally use the single toilet facility and I look over to the toilet roll , BLOODY, WHAT THE...????

sometimes, life is not fair...

01/01/15            G'Day World, "hola Mundo", Ciao Mondo, hallo Welt,

This is Dave and his All Singing, All Dancing, All Girl Band, currently blitzing Western Europe on a 50 day whirlwind tour on a total budget !

Stay tuned for riveting pics and funky updates !!!

For all those who have ever wondered...

YES YOU CAN!